2 posts within a week of one another? say whaaat?? i guess this is me putting off writing in my personal journal, but i've got time for that.

i just had my tonsils removed today. it's not really all that painful...yet...the doctor gave me extra meds. i've decided to talk as little as possible this week so that i heal quickly. plus, it kind of hurts to talk, so...i will now be taking my cone of silence for the next couple of days.

i need to figure out what classes i'll be taking this next semester. the problem is that i need to meet with an adviser at the school, but they're all booked, so i have to make a drop in appointment. i don't get to sign up for 2 weeks, which kind of blows since most of the classes i'm currently looking into are full. i suppose i could just sign up for classes and then change or something when they become available. or who knows...maybe the heavens will open and i'll be able to get into all the classes i need. that'd be brilliant.

i'm not, however, looking forward to waking up super early. since i'm now commuting, i'll need to take earlier classes so i actually get parking. but i suppose that's okay as long as i get my classes. hm.

i can't wait for school to start. seriously. i love it! i'm quite excited for it--to be back in a classroom, writing papers, discussions, etc...i'm not necessarily looking forward to all the reading i'll be doing, but i'm very eager to learn and i'm looking forward to it immensely.

i think i'm now used to my life simply being insane. there's no need to really go into depth on the subject as i don't really want to talk about it, but i'd like to state the following: just because someone doesn't necessarily show every emotion they're experiencing at that moment does not mean they don't feel anything. just a thought.

as i've been thinking about school and such, which starts up in january sometime, i've been looking into different fields, since my health is preventing me from pursuing my current major. i believe i mentioned earlier that i've been looking into communications and with everything that's been going on as of late, a scene from one of my favorite films, "The King's Speech", came to mind, where lionel and bertie are arguing because lionel is sitting on the coronation throne. if i could find a clip to embed, i would, but for now, the text will have to do, sadly. if you haven't seen the film, you need to. it's incredible and i find it truly inspirational, but perhaps i relate to the film and its message more because i had a speech impediment as a child.

King George VI: [Sees Logue is sitting on the coronation throne] What are you doing? Get up! You can't sit there! GET UP!
Lionel Logue: Why not? It's a chair.
King George VI: No, that. It is not a chair. T-that... that is Saint Edward's chair.
Lionel Logue: People have carved their names on it.
King George VI: [Simultaneously] That... chair... is the seat on which every king and queen has... That is the Stone of Scone you ah-are trivializing everything. You trivialize...
Lionel Logue: [Simultaneously] It's held in place by a large rock. I don't care about how many royal arseholes have sat in this chair.
King George VI: Listen to me. *Listen to me!*
Lionel Logue: Listen to you? By what right?
King George VI: By divine right if you must, I am your king.
Lionel Logue: No you're not, you told me so yourself. You didn't want it. Why should I waste my time listening?
King George VI: Because I have a right to be heard. I have a voice!
Lionel Logue: [pauses] Yes, you do.

i have a voice and i want to be heard. i deserve to be heard. we all do. if i do decide to go into communications, i'm not sure if i would go into film and media or journalism and mass media. that's still yet to be determined. i understand film and media very well and i love analyzing it and i feel i would be very successful in that field. at the same time, however, i have difficulty respecting the industry. but there are still wonderful people who strive for excellence and push for the good of man, rather than destroying the family and the morals of mankind. there's good and bad almost wherever you turn; it simply takes different forms and isn't always noticeable at first.

so, with all this, i've decided that i'm simply just going to go with the flow. i've got plans, but i know they'll change. i'm just going to focus first on my health and then on school and go from there. i don't have to decide on everything right now. answers to prayer and the greatest questions of life come with time, so i don't have to rush it. i don't want to miss out on opportunities and experiences due to impatience. one thing i do know for sure is that Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us and is mindful of absolutely everything we do, so just be patient. "keep on swimming." it'll all be okay.

well, apparently, what i thought was strep was not exactly what i had imagined. when i awoke the day following my previous post, my eyes, face and neck were so swollen that i couldn't feel my jawline and a couple tube-fuls of blood drawn by the ER nurses told the doctors i have mono. suck.

so i did my research and found out symptoms of mono include facial swelling (my sister said my swollen eyes made me look asian) and a sore throat, so i thought that the worsening of my symptoms was totally normal for mono.

the next day, my tonsils were quite large and on wednesday, they were HUGE! to the point i was having difficulty breathing. what the heck? is there a break ever from health issues?? i couldn't swallow water. my mom cut a normal-sized pain killer into 8 teeny tiny pieces so i could swallow and it was excruciating to do so. it took me about 10 minutes to swallow those pieces and all the energy i had. i had to sleep upright so i could breathe a bit easier.

i had the thoughts on multiple occasions throughout that day to simple enjoy the time i had left with my family since i clearly wouldn't have much longer. i could only take shallow breaths.

the next day (thursday), it had gotten worse and i couldn't take it any longer, we went to the doctor, who also told me i had tonsillitis on top of my mono. really? come on!! my head was killing me and i was super weak, so my doctor had me checked into the hospital where i was hooked up to an IV and had a ton of drugs pumped into me over the next couple of days.

i was released on saturday and rested as much as possible after that, but man, has life been crazy lately! between moving to arizona and all that drama to moving home and having this happen. better now than later when i'm back in school. it just testifies to me even further that Heavenly Father has a plan and things happen in a specific order for a reason. i'm so glad i listened and withdrew from school for this semester! it would have been horrid trying to keep up with everything with all that's gone on. phew!

i just scheduled my tonsillectomy for the 15th, so let's get those suckers out and hopefully then we can figure out what's going on with my back. if i have to have surgery, i'd rather have it done before school starts so i can at least go to school full-time, even if i wouldn't be able to have a job for a little while. we'll see what happens. it would sure be nice to go to school and have a job again. i miss it. and i also miss being able to buy clothes...i found these beautiful boots that are calling out to me. but alas, little ones, now is not the time.